So, Monday afternoon our water goes off. I know, they’re working on the water and sewer lines in the neighborhood, but still – I did get that letter from the water department last week saying our payment was late.
I knew the bill had been paid, so I went online and checked out my bank statement. Sure enough, the check for my water bill had cleared. So I called the water department to bitch.
“I’m sorry, sir, but your last payment was recorded in July, not September.”
“But I have the check I mailed to you clearing my bank last week. Lemme bring up the check image. Oh, SHIT. You’re right. You never got that check. Looks like it was stolen.”
I began exploring my online bank statement in depth. To date I’ve found three stolen checks, all of which were put in my mailbox for pickup on the same day. The total amount of money lost was a little over $300.
What I can’t understand is this: all three checks still had the original payee listed on the “Pay to the order of” line. The dip shits who stole them simply wrote over that and put in the name of our local supermarket chain. YOU CAN STILL SEE THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL PAYEE! And the dildos at the supermarkets cashed them.
So anyway, my water, car insurance and cable bills are all late. No big problems, but it’s just a royal pain in the ass. Had to call the bank’s main office, go to the Sheriff’s Department, get an incident report, take that to my local bank branch and, of course call all the companies affected. The cable and insurance companies just doubled up my bills for this month, but I need to take a check into Asheville so they don’t cut off my water.
The bank says I’ll get my money back, but it may take up to 90 days.
I almost forgot: Monday morning there was a note taped to my front gate from Animal Control. A neighbor had complained that my dog was running loose in the streets. That’s my 9 year-old, overweight BLIND dog, that never leaves the house except for the daily drags up and down the street. We call them exercise walks and I administer them twice daily.
So, this has been one of the strangest weeks in recent memory. Since all this shit is now straightened out, I hope things are on the upswing.
Later,
obi
1 comment:
I've never heard you call anyone a dildo and thank you it was the funniest thing i have read all week.
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