Hooterama

Asheville holds a street festival every year on the last weekend of July. It’s called Bele Chere and means beautiful something. Ask 10 people what it actually means and you’ll get 7 different answers, four of them being, “I don’t know.”

Supposedly, it’s the largest gathering of its type in the southeast, drawing an estimated 300,000 people between Friday night and early Sunday evening. Music, crafts and food are the attractions, and all the streets in central Asheville are closed for the duration.

The first few years of the festival, Barbara and I avoided downtown like the plague. In fact, several years we left town altogether, just to avoid the mayhem.

Then I discovered that during Bele Chere you can actually walk the streets of Asheville with an open beer in your hand. That was the beginning of our annual trips downtown to see the sights.

Actually, music alone is a good enough reason to make the trek. This year the featured performers were Gov’t Mule (Warren Haynes is from Asheville), Train, Galactic, and Shooter Jennings, Waylon’s kid. There was also a slew of bands from New Orleans. Last year the headliner was Blues Traveler, so it’s not all local-yokel entertainment.

In years past, our favorite pastime (besides the beer) was divided between belly watching and same-sex couple watching. Bellies have always been big in Asheville and “alternative lifestyles” are now becoming commonplace.

This year there was a brand new sight to behold – augmented bosoms. Yep, fake tits are taking over the city, and these are the kind that you can’t mistake. They’re bigguns.

Added to the fact that they’re soooo large is the fact that these broads are really proud of their new acquisitions. They just love showing off as much of their new hooters as the law allows.

This is still the south, so there was no blatant flashing, but those puppies were encased in as little fabric as possible.

Wahoo!!! Sure beats watching some redneck’s beer-gut.

Later,

obi