Monday, April 30, 2012
Hooters
Saturday, August 06, 2011
Uno more timeo
YESTERDAY WAS THREE FUCKING YEARS SMOKE-FREE!!!
Later,
obi
Sunday, June 19, 2011
R.I.P. Big Man
The world has lost a phenomenal musician and the E Streeters have lost a vital piece of their sound.
It's a sad day in Asbury Park, N.J.
Later,
obi
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
USPS = Junk
Junk mailers...that’s who. We can delete our spam without opening it, but we have to at least look at all the damned junk mail that hits our mailboxes.
What set me off this time?
I made two trips to the top of our driveway today to get the mail - on the first trip it hadn’t been delivered yet. When I finally got up there again, I understood why the mailman was running late.
The contents of my mailbox – in its entirety – was:
A Medicare supplement brochure
A discount book catalog
A political ad
The strategic planning report for a local retirement community
A bogo ad for a local eatery
And two thick mega ad folders containing everything from haircut ads to pizza ads plus rent-to-own flyers and WalMart brochures.
No wonder the USPS can’t make money. These guys mail all this crap for next to nothing, while the cost of 1st class postage continues to increase several times a year. I hate to give away how really old I am, but when I was in high school a 1st class stamp was .03 cents and a post card mailed for a penny.
Why, if we an have a “no-call” list fort telephone solicitors, can’t we have a “no-mail” list for all the 3rd class postal deliveries that waste trees and pollute the landfills?
Later,
obi
Friday, August 27, 2010
Second Lieutenant Van T. Barfoot
This 1944 Medal of Honor citation, listed with the National Medal of Honor Society, is for Second Lieutenant Van T. Barfoot, 157th Infantry, 45th Infantry:
"For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty on 23 May 1944, near Carano , Italy . With his platoon heavily engaged during an assault against forces well entrenched on commanding ground, 2d Lt. Barfoot moved off alone upon the enemy left flank. He crawled to the proximity of 1 machine gun nest and made a direct hit on it with a hand grenade, killing 2 and wounding 3 Germans. He continued along the German defense line to another machine gun emplacement, and with his tommy gun killed 2 and captured 3 soldiers. Members of another enemy machine gun crew then abandoned their position and gave themselves up to Sgt. Barfoot. Leaving the prisoners for his support squad to pick up, he proceeded to mop up positions in the immediate area, capturing more prisoners and bringing his total count to17. Later that day, after he had reorganized his men and consolidated the newly captured ground, the enemy launched a fierce armored counterattack directly at his platoon positions. Securing a bazooka, Sgt. Barfoot took up an exposed position directly in front of 3 advancing Mark VI tanks. From a distance of 75yards his first shot destroyed the track of the leading tank, effectively disabling it,while the other 2 changed direction toward the flank. As the crew of the disabled tank dismounted, Sgt. Barfoot killed 3 of them with his tommy gun. He continued onward into enemy terrain and destroyed a recently abandoned German field piece with a demolition charge placed in the breech. While returning to his platoon position, Sgt. Barfoot, though greatly fatigued by his Herculean efforts,assisted 2 of his seriously wounded men 1,700 yards to a position of safety.Sgt. Barfoot's extraordinary heroism, demonstration of magnificent valor, and aggressive determination in the face of point blank fire are a perpetual inspiration to his fellow soldiers."
Fuck you Xavier Alverez!
Later,
obi
Monday, August 23, 2010
50 Years Slides Away
One very striking fact is that since the last reunion five years ago, another 20 have passed away. In the 45 years before that, we had only lost 42. Hell of a jump.
I also got the group photo. Luckily they included a row-by-row listing of who was who. I only recognized two of them without the list. One because I’ve seen a recent picture of him and one because he hasn’t changed in 50 years.
But the thing that struck me more than any other – God…they’re all so fucking old.
Later,
obi
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Yeah....I'm Pissed
The Stolen Valor Act has been declared unconstitutional by the US Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit in guess where? San Francisco, California. It was enacted in 2006 and made it a crime to lie about having received a military medal or service badge.
I’m all for free speech…I wanna say what I want where I want and to whomever I want. That includes telling the three-judge panel that declared the law unconstitutional, they are a bunch of dumb-ass motherfuckers!
Xavier Alverez has at various times claimed to be an ex-marine (not true); to have played hockey for the Detroit Red Wings (a lie); to have rescued the American ambassador during the Iranian hostage crisis (a complete fabrication); and to have received the Medal of Honor, the highest award that can be given to military personnel (the big ‘un.)
The judges claimed that his freedom of speech would be hampered if he wasn't allowed to say that he won the medal.
Lie about getting the Purple Heart? No problem…the government hands them out like candy. Lie about serving in Nam? No biggie…If everyone who said they were in Nam actually was, maybe we would have kicked some ass over there instead of leaving with our tails between our legs. But to say you have been awarded the Medal of Honor?
There aren’t that many of them still alive. In fact, the network news anchors report whenever one of them dies…that’s how important to our history these guys are. and what they did to get that medal was normally some off-the-wall heroic shit.
Alverez needs to have someone give him, at the least, a swift kick in the balls.
If he actually has any, that is.
Later
obi
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Year # 2
Happy Anniversary to me...and many more.
Haven’t sucked on a cigarette in two…count ‘em two whole years.
Later,
obi
Monday, August 02, 2010
CSI
other hand, has the tube on all morning while she plays on the computer.
Normally, while I have my usual late breakfast, a program called "CSI Miami" is
blaring in the background. I usually don't pay much attention to it because I think
it sucks. The acting is terrible and the female cops are all too attractive - not that that's a bad thing - but check out your typical female law enforcement personnel sometime. No comparison. And, if they have boobs at all, they're covered up, not like the bimbos on CSI who walk around with them hanging out - again, not that it's a bad thing.
A few days ago my least favorite character on that program, Horatio, was rolling "Code 3" down a Miami boulevard in his Hummer. Full out lights and siren Just when I looked up at the TV screen, he was passed by a station wagon.
See what I mean?
Later,
obi
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Rednecks
But I digress.
I can use the "R" word in much the same way that blacks can use the "N" word. We're fucking entitled - so there.
Anywaaaay....I've been pet/house sitting this week while my daughter and her husband are on vacation, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. As long as I stayed in the house. My baby girl lives just outside Atlanta and it's been in the high 90's every day this week with the heat indices over 100. BRU-tal.
Needless to say, I have not ventured out too often or for too long a period of time. No washing the truck or playing catch with the dog. Mostly sitting inside reading, playing on the computer or watching TV.
I'm normally not much of a daytime TV person - sometimes one of the Judge shows - but that's about it. Well, I got me an edjucashun this week, and I've made a very serious discovery.
I'm gonna share it with you now so get ready - fasten your seatbelts - batten down the hatches.
If it wasn't for rednecks and trailer trash we wouldn't have all those "redneck engineering" emails; the "people of WalMart" pictures wouldn't exist; Maury Pouvich and Jerry Springer would be out of work.
End of the day's enlightenment, grasshopper.
Later,
obi
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Remember me?
Damn….it’s been almost a year since I posted anything. Time flies….I guess.
In the “what’s new” department I’m still not smoking – it’s been 23 months! And
my youngest son (middle child) completed the family trifecta and got married in June in Durango, CO. My daughter (his half-sister) attended and sent me photos. My ex-wife (his mother) sent photos. My ex-sister-in-law (his aunt) sent me photos. His brother (my oldest child) sent me photos. Even though I wasn’t invited (discouraged from attending, in fact) the photographs almost made me feel like I was there. I assumed that my ex-wife had influenced the non-invite and negative response when I asked my son if I would be welcome. Once again, I was wrong. My ex asked my daughter why I wasn’t there. I have since corresponded with her (the first time in about 25 years) and found out that she was never asked her opinion on the subject - it was my son’s decision. That hurt a lot more than if she had influenced the final outcome.
Enough of this semi-negative shit! Let’s get on with the fun stuff.
I received a letter last month inviting me to serve as a jury-person on July 7th in the year of our Lord, 2010. Of coursed I accepted the invitation and asked if I could bring any snacks. “Don’t be a wise ass,” I was told. “Just be here at 9 am, sit down and shut the fuck up!”
I arrived at the county courthouse at 8:15, having over-compensated for the traffic into our megalopolis. Coffee and water were provided, and a soda machine was available on-premise. My stomach, however, was alerting my brain that it thought my throat had been cut since no solid food had yet been forthcoming. Coffee apparently was not going to suffice.
Once all the prospective jurors had arrived, we were shown a short film outlining how the court system functioned and what would be required of us should we be selected for a jury. Then we waited.
I read for a while, then started scanning my fellow jurors.
The guy sitting in front of me, one chair over to the left, had to be an off-duty cop…I hope. When he crossed his legs and his pants cuff rode up a little, I could definitely see an ankle holster. That meant he was either a cop or one of those really, REALLY upset family members who kill the trial’s defendant because they had messed with the juror’s daughter. I was getting ready to report him to the court clerk when I saw he was reading a “cop” magazine on guns, ammo and taking prisoners safely.
Directly in front of me was a thirty-something male of East Indian heritage. Dark hair, dark skin, a nice gray suit and…….a page-boy looking collar on backwards and held together by a large, gold stick-pin. I was trying to figure out if maybe the whole collar arrangement was actually holding his head on when he turned around. I assume he was some sort of priest because he was wearing a sort of silk shirt with no real collar, just the white thing I had seen before.
Alan Harper from “2 ½ Men” was there too. Actually he was just “super” prepared for a lengthy stay. He had his laptop, earphones, cell phone and his lunch (in TupperWare containers.) A plaid, short-sleeved and button-down shirt completed the “Alan” look.
We also had a flagrant dyke (they seem to be in fashion here), multiple retirees (we have the time), one man who had a perpetual smile on his face (I’m assuming it was simply a nerd smile and not a plastic surgery error), and one guy who Judge Judy would have had a field-day with.
I was concerned about wearing jeans to court, so I wore chinos. This “dude” had on cut-off jean shorts, flip-flops and a gray T-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Judy would have reamed him a new asshole right before she cited him for contempt.
At about 11:30, the clerk turned off the flat-screen 40+ inch HDTV, and informed us that the civil trial that we were supposed to hear had been settled without our assistance and the only other trial on the day’s docket was a non-jury affair. We were free to go…see you in a minimum of two years.
I feel like I accomplished something…my civic duty has been done. Even though I didn’t do anything but read and people watch. Good deal!
Later,
obi
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Free at Last - Free at Last
I’ve been paying off medical bills for 5 ½ years – each and every month.
It all started with my unscheduled flight on the relatively unknown carrier, Plywood Airlines, on November 28, 2003.
The ambulance ride, the x-rays, the surgery that night, the hospital stay, the second surgery in December and the 3rd surgery in February ’04, plus all the miscellaneous add-ons (physical therapies, braces, and all the charges inherent to surgical procedures) came to over $25,000.
Admittedly, the hospital did write off a good portion of their charges after my shitty insurance company had paid their pittance. I also explained to them that since my company had laid me off due to the injury, I had absolutely NO income. I guess they felt sorry for me.
So, everybody got what I could pay them every month. The payments were small, but I never missed a month.
Then in April of ’06 I had another short flight, this one on the regional carrier, Ladder Airlines. It was only about 10 feet or so, but it did manage to break my cheekbone and my wrist, plus it shattered the sinus on the right side of my face. This is what I looked like the following day.
More fucking medical bills, but not nearly as much. Only about $1100 that time, but it still felt like I was taking one step forward and two steps back.
But as of today, August 12th in the year of our Lord, 2009, it’s all fucking over. By writing a check for $67, I have freed myself from the medical community (at least for now). All bills paid ~ thank God they didn’t charge me interest.
Later,
obi
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Smoking
It's been a bitch ~ I still think about picking up a cigarette every God damned day!
But I don't do it.
How long will it be until I forget that I smoked those fucking things for over 50 years?
Later,
obi
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Phil and Tina
That and the fact that both Tina’s have about the same color hair.
Regular readers also know that I walk, or drag, our Tina twice a day – every day.
On Christmas afternoon we were taking our second drag of the day down Hemlock Street. One of our neighbors was hosting a family gathering and several people who I didn’t recognize had come outside to have a smoke.
“Oh, what a pretty puppy,” a young woman said. What’s her name?”
“Tina,” I replied. “Tina Turner.”
The young woman’s jaw dropped almost down to the asphalt.
Pointing at her male companion she said, “Oh my God! His dog is named Phil Collins!”
I think we need to get them together for a duet.
Later,
obi
Monday, October 27, 2008
Update
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 2495
Lifetime Saved: 19 days, 1 hour
Money Saved: $435.75
Later,
obi
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Saturday, October 04, 2008
This Was The Week That Was (TW3)
I knew the bill had been paid, so I went online and checked out my bank statement. Sure enough, the check for my water bill had cleared. So I called the water department to bitch.
“I’m sorry, sir, but your last payment was recorded in July, not September.”
“But I have the check I mailed to you clearing my bank last week. Lemme bring up the check image. Oh, SHIT. You’re right. You never got that check. Looks like it was stolen.”
I began exploring my online bank statement in depth. To date I’ve found three stolen checks, all of which were put in my mailbox for pickup on the same day. The total amount of money lost was a little over $300.
What I can’t understand is this: all three checks still had the original payee listed on the “Pay to the order of” line. The dip shits who stole them simply wrote over that and put in the name of our local supermarket chain. YOU CAN STILL SEE THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL PAYEE! And the dildos at the supermarkets cashed them.
So anyway, my water, car insurance and cable bills are all late. No big problems, but it’s just a royal pain in the ass. Had to call the bank’s main office, go to the Sheriff’s Department, get an incident report, take that to my local bank branch and, of course call all the companies affected. The cable and insurance companies just doubled up my bills for this month, but I need to take a check into Asheville so they don’t cut off my water.
The bank says I’ll get my money back, but it may take up to 90 days.
I almost forgot: Monday morning there was a note taped to my front gate from Animal Control. A neighbor had complained that my dog was running loose in the streets. That’s my 9 year-old, overweight BLIND dog, that never leaves the house except for the daily drags up and down the street. We call them exercise walks and I administer them twice daily.
So, this has been one of the strangest weeks in recent memory. Since all this shit is now straightened out, I hope things are on the upswing.
Later,
obi
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Blahhh
I don’t think I’ve enjoyed that program for about 25 years, but the opening skit with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin was hilarious.
That skit reminded me that I had a dream about Sarah Palin earlier in the week. I don’t normally remember my dreams, and in a million years I’d never imagine that I’d have a dream with her in it. She scares me. I wouldn’t want her anywhere near “the button” if she was having a bad day.
But here’s the dream ~ I’d gone back to work at McDonald’s in Jersey after being out sick for an extended period of time. I had been guaranteed my manager’s job back by the head of HR. But, when I returned to work, my new supervisor was Palin and she made me a grill person.
She smelled good, but shit was she a bitch.
The second not-so-bright spot in the last week was on one of my credit card statements. When I got it Friday morning, it had a notation that I had not made my last payment and that all my interest rates (some of which were as low as 4.99%) had all been jacked up to 18.99%.
Was I pissed? What do you think?
Called customer service and after about an hour had the situation resolved. Thank God for online bank statements. I printed out the cancelled check with the date that it had cleared, gave her the information and we were good to go. She’s sending me some forms to fill out and that will finish it.
But Saturday morning at 8:15 I got a call from their collections department. Righty doesn’t know what lefty is doing. Another 30 minutes on the phone with that jack-ass and I think we’re straight.
Oh, well. It might have been a pain in the ass, but it sure gets the blood pumping.
Later,
obi